Lesson 12

Counsels

How wonderful to be taught of counsels and how a marriage can be a partnership. I have seen this to be an important and meaningful part of my parents’ marriage and my own. My mother was a meek and I would say submissive wife. She wishes now that she would have spoken up more because it couldn’t have saved some stressful moves and other things from happening. If my dad made a decision she supported him but now they both feel things would have been better if they would have listened to each other before and during making decisions. Decisions like when and where to move are at the top of the list.

I really like the article “Who’s the Boss” by Richard Miller. There were many good points, one of which was, “In healthy, well-functioning families, there is a clear hierarchy between parents and children. Parents are the “executive committee” and the “board of directors” of a family. As with any other leadership position, parents should not be harsh, domineering, or dictatorial, but they are the leaders of the family, and the children need to follow that leadership.

“Discipline is probably one of the most important elements in which a mother and father can lead and guide and direct their children…. Setting limits to what a child can do means to that child that you love him and respect him. If you permit the child to do all the things he would like to do without any limits, that means to him that you do not care much about him (Spencer W. Kimball, TSWK pp. 340, 341).

Isn’t is so refreshing to hear again that we are allowed to be parents? I feel so often society is teaching that everything is all about the child without thinking about when the child grows up. The best thing for children is to have real parents who take seriously their roles. Who is to help the children learn the facts of life and work ethic if they are never to be disciplined and taught that all choices have consequences.

When parents are united they are unstoppable it seems. One key is to be united and one key is to be united in the right thing. Talking with a General Authority recently, he said when the Twelve Apostles get together there is no politics or what is conservative and what is liberal. The question always boils down to what is right. I love what Elder Ballard said,

“I have noticed that each of the Brethren is not so much concerned with expressing his own point of view as he is with listening to the point of view of others and striving to create a proper climate in the Council meetings. They are sensitive to one another’s thoughts and rarely interrupt one another during their conversations. During discussion they do not push their own ideas but try to determine from the discussion what would be best for the kingdom” (M. Russell Ballard (1997) “Counseling With Your Councils).”

        

These men are well educated and very successful in the world’s terms. And yet they can set their pride, their confidence, their opinions aside and humbly petition the Lord for His will. I want to be that way. I want to be at one with my husband as we share this sacred role as parents. The consequences are eternal.