Lesson 8
Pride

Some things I learned from President Benson:

“Another face of pride is contention… Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces…all fall into this category of pride…Contention drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away.”

I’d say President Ezra Taft Benson sums it all up. If we have contention in our hearts, we are in the wrong. This is very difficult because we feel others “make us mad.” In reality it is pride that makes us justify our behavior, thoughts, and feelings towards others who have wronged us.

“The proud are easily offended and hold grudges. They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings.” That also seems to describe a lot of marriage relationships. We are so vulnerable and so easily offended by each other. I realize that when my husband and I are close we are not easily offended by each other. But when we do offend each other, I am so grateful that I have an understanding of the Savior and His atonement and what it means for us as a couple and me as an individual. I have learned that to truly repent I must go to the Lord not just my spouse or child, for forgiveness. In the scriptures I learn that if I have contention in my heart then I have something to repent of and can no longer “see clearly to cast the mote out thy [spouse’s] eye.” (3 Nephi 14:4-5)

What I have really desired lately is the freedom from fear, always being afraid of offending others or being too easily offended myself. Pres Benson shed some specific light for me. “When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgment. The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. The reasoning of men overrides the revelations of God, and the proud let go of the iron rod.” I hate feeling like I am a prisoner because I might or did offend someone. When I focus on the Savior and not on what I am doing or saying then my fear leaves and I feel an independent from the world. It is wonderful to feel that freedom. I am really working on focusing on Jesus Christ all the time and it makes a real difference - a literal physical, mental, and emotional difference.

I have been working at keeping my focus on the Savior. One particular day, when everyone was complaining and getting after me for what I was or was not doing, as the mother, I began to be overwhelmed with sorrow and anger. As I went to my room to cry or pray or something, I pictured the Savior by me and thought “Is this the way He feels towards me? No, neither would Heavenly Father. They would see I am doing all I can, I am giving my all.” Immediately, the sadness and anger left and I carried on my duties feeling at peace. I have done that many times since then. Of course there are times that the answer is “yes, He would not approve of what you are doing” (that is when I’m engaging in contention). Then I must go and repent. But, if I am doing my best and it isn’t good enough for everyone else - if it is good enough for Him, then it is good enough. The minute I have this affirmation the fear or hurt leaves and I am at peace. I believe humility and emotional freedom go together.

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